Haiku Five-O.

Guest Haiku

2008-05-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

Stay away SoCo
I just want to drink water
Damn you, Rick Astley

-by Angie.

61.

2008-02-15T22:02:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is
too commercial, but makes
me feel amorous.

So I write love notes
to people who are not my
regular boyfriend.

They are famous and
don't know I am their girlfriend
but that's no matter.

Ryan Adams, let's
write some songs about drinking
in Los Angeles.

60.

2008-02-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

Ted Leo, since you
are a vegan, we'll enjoy
bread and soup from Vons.

59.

2008-02-12T21:56:00.000-08:00

Viggo, we can go
to a poetry reading
and I'll read this one.

58.

2008-02-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

Blake Sennet, please sing
me your song about wearing
hunting caps at dawn.

57.

2008-02-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

Alan Alda, you
can take me to Rosie's Bar
for a martini.

Super Happy Haiku Boredom Challenge! Part Deux.

2008-02-09T21:18:00.000-08:00

Emsie Hammer:

1. If you were a hotdog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

Indeed I'd partake
In the bountiful feast of
A hot dog de me

2. Who is your favorite Golden Girl?

Sophia the great
You steal my heart with every
Episode. Far out!

3. Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

I've been looking for
You everywhere. Can we please
Go home now you jerk?

4. How rad was the movie 300?

The bees did blot out
The sun. Cake town was awesome.
More naked Gerard!

5. Are you still bitter about the final episode of Full House?

Yes. Yes yes yes yes
Oh yeah, fo reals I am son.
True dat perro dog.

Megan:

1. If you were a hotdog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

If I happen'd to
be a hot dog, I'd eat me
ev'n if I was full!

2. Who is your favorite Golden Girl?

Bea Arthur, you have
this street toughness about you.
Stay gold, my lady.

3. Hello. Is it me you're looking for?.

I am looking for
Carmen San Diego. Where
in the world is she?

4. How rad was the movie 300?

Three Hundred contain'd
the radness of one thousand
brontosauruses

5. Are you still bitter about the final episode of Full House?

I feel so cheated that
it was all about Michelle.
What a freakin' jerk!

Super Happy Haiku Boredom Challenge!

2008-02-09T21:10:00.000-08:00

Me and Emsie get
bor'd at work. So we send odd
messages sometimes.

Megan:

1. Chuck Norris: Friend or Foe?

Chuck Norris is a
great ally to have if you
are fighting ninjas.

2. Describe the beauty of David Hasselhoff

Hoff, your countenance
is as lovely as a
small stain'd glass window

3. So just how AWESOME is pizza?

Pizza, how do I
love thee? Let me count the ways:
Gotta be, like, five.

4. Better transportation: Shark or Stingray?

It would behoove me
to transport upon a stingray
if I were stranded.

5. 311 or Scott Stapp: who would win?

Fight of the year
three eleven hits below
the belt. Stapp is down!

Emsie Hammer

1. Chuck Norris: Friend or Foe?

Old chuck is my friend
But he can kick your ass, man
If you piss him off

2. Describe the beauty of David Hasselhoff

Once my eyes beheld
The beauty that is the Hoff
Life was changed for good

3. So just how AWESOME is pizza?

A slice of pizza
Is like the heavens parting
And raining down men

4. Better transportation: Shark or Stingray?

A shark will bite you
A stingray will sting, at least
He'll take you back home

5. 311 or Scott Stapp: who would win?

Scott Stapp is a douche
But there ain't no way that he'd
Beat three eleven

56.

2006-01-18T00:49:00.000-08:00

I forgot how much
fun haikus can be. It is
time to pick it up!

55.

2005-09-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

There is no excuse
for why I have not written
for 20 days now.

54. [font haiku #13]

2005-09-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

What modern times lack
is Bowie wearing spandex
in the Labyrinth.

[Acid Fonts.]

53. [font haiku #12]

2005-09-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

Knight's Quest is so good
for writing on parchment for
the Knights who say "Ni!"

[Acid Fonts.]

52. [font haiku #11]

2005-09-05T10:01:00.000-07:00

Walken and Reeves like
Johnny Fever. The R/X?
Whoa. Needs more cowbell.

[Acid Fonts.]

51. [font haiku #10]

2005-09-04T08:24:00.000-07:00

Inner Flasher is
used to decorate eighties
skateboards ev'rywhere.

[Acid Fonts.]

50. [font haiku #9]

2005-09-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

I really like the
band MCR since my friend
showed me Helena.

[Acid Fonts.]

49. [font haiku #8]

2005-09-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Better lay off those
Goofballs kid, your eyes are a
bit shifty lookin'.

[Acid Fonts.]

48. [font haiku #7]

2005-09-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

If I happen'd to
be Gandalf with Microsoft
Word, I'd use Folkard.

[acid fonts.]

47. [font haiku #6]

2005-08-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

Edmund is a good
name for a font and also
for a little kid.

[1001 Fonts.]

47. [font haiku #5]

2005-08-30T23:37:00.000-07:00

Sugar Skulls abound
in Dia De Los Muertos.
Isn't that spooky?

[BVFonts]

46. [font haiku #4]

2005-08-29T16:16:00.000-07:00

I always lik'd the
orange and white shooting stars
in the Lucky Charms.

[BVFonts]

45. [font haiku #3]

2005-08-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

California Sun:
You look nothing like your name.
I still think you're rad.

[acid fonts.]

44. [font haiku #2]

2005-08-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

Oh Brody, ever
so classy. I wish my hand
script look'd like you do.

[acid fonts]

43. [font haiku #1]

2005-08-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

Alpha Woman Hair:
you are a freakish font hair
fetishists would heart.

[acid fonts.]

Announcement.

2005-08-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

For the next 26 days, I will be writing a haiku a day dedicated to individual fonts. Please enjoy.

42.

2005-08-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

My shoes are cheap from
Wal-Mart. They are not pointy.
I hate pointy shoes.

41. <3

2005-08-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

new zines in the mail
today. i get to read some
lovely stories now.

40.

2005-08-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

System is down at
work. Nothing to do. I have
already read blogs.

39.

2005-08-22T16:41:00.000-07:00

Yet again I dreamt of
Danny Bonaduce. Why?
That dream makes two now.

AND

Corn Nuts are freakin'
gross. It smells like rotting corpses
in the office now.

38.

2005-08-21T14:16:00.000-07:00

I often don't know
what I should say when I sit
down to write haikus.

37.

2005-08-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

When I get married
I want the ceremony
to have some pirates.

36.

2005-08-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

Justin Pierre, lead
singer of Motion City
Soundtrack: new hair please.

35.

2005-08-18T04:41:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I
learn'd from the Flock, it's that he
couldn’t get away.

34.

2005-08-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a
bucket to wear on my head
as a nifty hat.

33.

2005-08-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

I don't like smoking
but I really do like how
clove cigarettes smell.

32.

2005-08-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

I never get to
see mid-summer lightning storms,
but last night I did.

31.

2005-08-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

In a meteor
shower, comets have tails as
long as my cat Clay's.

30.

2005-08-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

Morning clouds until
Noon. Ah, it will be a good
weather day indeed.

Another Soopknotsea special.

2005-08-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

A black scratch on the
window. Strangely looking like
a small angry man.

- soopknotsea

Contribute?

29.

2005-08-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

I know a pirate.
His name is Edward Arrrrrr and
he is a puppet.

28.

2005-08-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

Longest day of my
life. Why isn't work over?
It should be five now.

27.

2005-08-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

Baby I'm bad news.
I really like that Rilo
Kiley album. Yes.

26.

2005-08-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Phone call from an old
friend, living only sixty
miles away. How cool.

25.

2005-08-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

Oops. I smooshed a car
at work today. I hope this
doesn't cost money.

24.

2005-08-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

I can Wild Shape a
large animal three times a
day. Level 8, yo.

23.

2005-08-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

Keys were in the car.
Triple A membership was
voided. C'les Vie.

22.

2005-08-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

Love is in the air.
Honey, I think the brine shrimp
are copulating.

21.

2005-08-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

road tripless summer
it seems. But its still been fun.
And now time is up.

A very special Haiku Five-O.

2005-08-03T12:33:00.000-07:00

creepy, slimy, sick.
Jellyfish are so these things.
I say kill them all.

-compliments of the soopknotsea

Contribute?

20.

2005-08-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

We decided we
are Monets while they are cave
art. Crude, but precise.

19.

2005-08-01T22:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder
'do you dream at all?' I think
dreams are important.

18.

2005-07-31T11:31:00.000-07:00

It was too hot to
go for a hike. Plus, I had
cramps. That T.M.I.?

Bonus Horoscope Haiku!

2005-07-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Who is just dripping
with hot-stuff appeal? You, that's
who! You are hot stuff!

[this my yahoo horoscope for today. Unedited! I am presuming that one would pronounce "appeal" with three syllables as I do: uh-pee-ul. Yahoo monkeys are poets and they didn't even know it. Awwww! <3]

17.

2005-07-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up with the
song "Men in Black" stuck in my
head. Oh! That Will Smith!

16.

2005-07-28T23:38:00.000-07:00

I hate going to
the doctor, especially
just for a check-up.

15.

2005-07-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

The forecast this week?
Isolated thunderstorms.
I'd like to see that.

14.

2005-07-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

I have Weird Al stuck
in my head. That's not too bad.
He's a good kid.

13.

2005-07-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

I need a pay raise.
It won't happen because I
write in this all day.

12.

2005-07-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

The Fish: House of Blues,
Anaheim. ¡Viva La Ska
Revolución!

11.

2005-07-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

The queen invited
all her men over for a
feast. Let's Barbeque!

10.

2005-07-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Fridays seem to drag.
Though I'm not looking forward
to the hot asphalt.

09.

2005-07-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

Why am I always
the knight in shining armor?
*tee-hee* I'm a girl!

08.

2005-07-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

So Humid. And at
one hundred degrees, how can
we even function?

07.

2005-07-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

Truth Be Told is great.
Hollywood kids wanted free
music. We said "sure!"

06.

2005-07-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

It is hard to write
a haiku blog at work.
Where's my pretty view?

05.

2005-07-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday? I thought that
it was Monday. Lucky me.
Still one more day left.

04.

2005-07-16T02:29:00.000-07:00

One hour is not long
to wait in line for Harry
Potter. Time to read.

03.

2005-07-15T16:34:00.000-07:00

A Friday is not
a Saturday. I've learn'd this
the hard way today.

02.

2005-07-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

We hit the glass and
they hit the floor. We came up
shootin' and holl'rin'.

01.

2005-07-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

eleven oh nine-
slow as elven time we move.
you are immortal.